Wicked Games Part 3

„What do you mean with 'he is gone', kitten? Did he disappeared while hiding under the skirt of the Grand Cleric?"

As much as Hawke liked Isabelas kind of humor normally, she totally didn't felt like laughing about it now. Grand Cleric Elthina had informed her earlier that Sebastian hadn't shown up for the mass this morning – or the one the morning before. And that she had had no idea where he could be. So Hawke had promised her to look for him.

She hadn't told Isabela – or anyone else - about what had happened that night after she and Sebastian had left the Hanged Man. Did she went too far with provoking him? On the other hand, he had said he couldn't admit that there wasn't... something between them.

Something more than tempting him?

She'd never thought about that. The way he...was, he acted had just bothered her too much. And now it should be more than that? More than playing some games?

„Ha-aaawke? Are you dreaming with open eyes?" Isabela pocked her against her shoulder, slightly grinning.

„So, what is this thing about Sebastian now?"

„From what I know he is neglecting all of his duties," Hawke sighed.

„I hope you two are not talking about me," that was Anders who just entered the tavern, wrapping is arms around Isabela and pressing a kiss on her neck.

„How could we?" Isabela purred, blinking at Hawke while Anders sat down next to the pirate girl.

„We're searching for Sebastian," Hawke replied then.

„Oh? Maybe he's still drunk? From what I heard he had a bit too much ale lately."

„Thats not funny Anders," Hawke muttered.

„Don't be so grumpy, kitten. I'm sure he'll be back. Besides, it won't help much to look for him now. Lets wait till tomorrow."

She didn't like the thought but Isabela was right with it. They had spent the day with dealing with the more-and-more growing Qunari problem after she had came back from the Grand Cleric. Viscount Dumar had mentioned that it still didn't look like they had planned to leave Kirkwall soon.
More troubles would be showing up and fishing for her attention during the next weeks for sure.

But still, she had a slight idea where Sebastian could be. There was this one place she'd told him about once. The question was, did she really want to find out if she was right with her suggestion?



„You are a duncish coward, Sebastian Vael." Her words sounded sharper than intended when she saw him sitting there at a big stone, in his shining armour she even could apot in this darkness without any problems, his hands resting on his thighs.

It was maybe the influence of the ale which leaded her to come here, or her own stubbornness which didn't allow her to just give up on that man.

And she has been right expecting him to hide at the Wounded Coast. It was a good place to hide at least. Normal people avoid it because of all the pirates, thieves and Qunari people hanging around here.

„Because I stay behind my faith? Because I am trying to keep holding on my current life?" He didn't move or at least turn his head to look at her.

„Cause you're running away from yourself and your feelings. And neglecting all the things which are meaning so much for you the same time. " She still stood behind him. Watching his back and the rough wind playing with his hair.

„The self you're speaking of lays behind me. It won't come back. I won't allow it to."

Hawke crouched down besides him, her arms between her knees. A pale moon enlightened the space around them.

„You're afraid of it, aren't you?"

He looked at her, and for the first time since they knew each other, his eyes were clear, open, not hiding behind a mask.

Sebastian held off his answer first. He couldn't say if Hawke was a person who would understand his struggling, his steady fighting against his past that had started again after they'd met.

„I don't wanna be this man ever again," he said then, „I didn't respect life... or love. I would've destroyed myself for sure, it had only been a matter of time," he shook his head, „and then I've met you. You're my friend , Hawke, but you're.... just reminding me too much of my old self."

She chuckled at his words, as he'd expected it, but to his surprise it sounded only sorely.

„Thats not me, Sebastian, „she explained, "Its only a mask - just like yours." It was hard to understand her words, whispered confessions dropping down her lips, her eyes focusing on her hands.

Maybe it was a fault to tell him that. Maybe it would change the things between them. But she couldn't care less right now. She'd never really been honest with someone when it had came to her feelings, not with Isabela or Anders or Aveline – not even with her brother. Since allowing herself to really feel something behind flirting and teasing had only ended up in tears and broken hearts.

„Hawke, I.... I didn't know..." he had no idea what to say. He felt a bit like he would've forced her into being honest with him.

„Noone did," Hawke mumbled, „thats nothing I'm telling the whole world."

„Why me then?" was all he was able to ask.

Hawke shrugged her shoulders, her voice still low, „Maybe because we're not as different as you think."